IntroductionIf you are one of the millions of people who suffer from low self-esteem,you are no stranger to the sensation that something vital is missing fromyour life. Besides the inner disconnection you live with on a daily basis,you may also feel distanced from loved ones and friends by an invisiblewall that prevents you from opening up and trusting those closest to you.It seems like such a minor thing, holding oneself in high regard, becausemost of us have been taught how to be unselfish and generous to others.Any hint of selfish interest was severely frowned upon during ourformative years, and we still carry the echoes of that sentiment to thisday.While selflessness and generosity are admirable traits, too many of uscarry them to an extreme, going so far as to completely neglect ourselvesand our needs.The problems stemming from such a habit are far-reaching and canaffect many parts of our lives, from our work, to our income, ourinterpersonal relationships, the way we dress, our health habits, and evenour perceived purpose in life.______________________________________________________________________________How to Raise Your Self-Esteem White Dove BooksA person with low self-esteem will generally feel less joyful, lessinvolved, less connected with their daily lives and the peoplesurrounding them. Theyll often feel unfulfilled by their jobs, earn lessmoney, experience a higher incidence of illness, and even suffer fromrecurring bouts of depression and anxiety.Does this describe you? If so, take heart because you are definitely notalone. Youll be comforted to know that raising your self-esteem isactually a very simple process! With small daily actions and a minorshift in your thought patterns, you can learn to love yourself in a trulyhealthy, beneficial way that will also benefit everyone around you.First, lets explore exactly how self-esteem gets lowered.When we are first born, we are completely selfish creatures. We havelittle awareness of others around us, and we couldnt care less about thefeelings and needs of anyone other than ourselves. We care only that weare provided with the warmth, nourishment and attention that we requireon a regular basis.As we grow and develop, we become more aware of others in our lives,such as our parents and siblings. For the most part we are still selfcentered, focusing mostly on our own needs. But the older we get, our______________________________________________________________________________How to Raise Your Self-Esteem White Dove Booksparents begin teaching us to share and be considerate of others and theirneeds.However, just being taught to share and be considerate of others is notwhat lowers our self-esteem. Rather, we are often the recipients ofderogatory comments from both adults and peers. Usually these peoplehave good intentions, like the aunt that casually mentions how youregaining weight and becoming chubby, or the parent who tells you thatplaying near a busy street was stupid.No matter how well-intentioned these comments are, many of them actas barbs that are absorbed into our subconscious minds and become partof our self-image.Remember that we have nothing to compare these comments against.We still dont have full knowledge of ourselves as individuals, so wehave no reason not to believe the things that are said to us.Even worse, as we get older, we keep replaying these comments fromour subconscious minds and continue to reinforce the negative beliefsthey formed. Every time we do something stupid, or every time wenotice the numbers on the scale creeping higher, we experience a sense______________________________________________________________________________How to Raise Your Self-Esteem White Dove Booksof shame and the feeling that we are somehow less than we should be.We dont measure up.Of course, there are more extreme examples of actual abuse and neglectthat contribute to low self-esteem even more powerfully, but evenseemingly inconsequential experiences like those described above cando some damage.As we grow into adulthood, an interesting thing happens. Weautomatically do whatever we can to keep proving to ourselves thatwe are the person our self-image tells us we are. If our self-image is oneof a stupid or valueless person, well automatically do things that wouldbe considered stupid or demonstrate a lack of respect for ourselves.If we believe that were not worthy of love and acceptance, well act inways that push others away from us. Well shy away from intimate,healthy relationships and do everything we can to prove that our belief istrue even if we wish it werent!Also interesting is that other people will tend to treat us in accordancewith our own self-image! A person who has little self-respect willusually find themselves surrounded by other people who feel the sameway and treat them accordingly.